Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Art of Dating

So today my timeline on Facebook (FB) was filled with "Logan post." So I did a little, and I mean very little, reading to see where the posts were coming from. Apparently a young lady posted about her date, a young man, taking her to Logan's for a date.  Now that is harmless in my eyes,  but I may be missing something be as I am 34 years old and have had my share of dates...

But there were many opinions of the young woman. Yes, even I chimed in to offer m two or three cents! After finding out she is of college age... I rolled my eyes in the most sarcastic way... She's a kid. A product of the late 90's era. So my digression stops there. Why? I hear so many off my former students talk as if they are the descendants of Sex and the City's  Carrie or Charlotte! And sadly they are a product of parents were youth themselves and misguided them for the most part!

I remember my college days... and the dating... My freshman year and sophomore year I swear I thought it was out of a magazine... I was firm living and working two jobs... So there was always money to blow. Fabulous' "Throw it in the bag" was written just for me"... lol. Plus my boyfriend made it even more pleasurable by being of statue... Di dining out at Logan's was like McDonalds to us...we started at Logans, Cheesecake Factory, P.F. Chang's, Olive Garden, & Little Italy... to name a few... but my fav meal was always the two cheeseburgers and medium fry from McDonalds... When you're really feeling someone and they offer to take you out... if it's genuine how you feel, you don't care where you go. As long as you're with that person, you don't care about the restaurant... You're taking the opportunity to see who the person really is.

But this new generation of kids lack substance. Many don't even date because they are too busy kicking it casually that they miss all the substance a person had until someone else has them. I hope that he young man looses her information and sees that she is shallow as hell. And as for her, I hope she sees him in the future along with his wife as she is standing in the rain with her Bebe's kids...

Impressionable dates are reserved for when we know each other well enough to know that we both are all in so I will spend the check at Perry's Steakhouse (but it's not a check, this what I wanted to spend on my Babe just because money)... but you guys know what I mean!!! Learn the Art of Dating, then apply where needed!

Thanks for reading today! 😘

Monday, November 9, 2015

Love, Laugh, Cry, Forgive, and LOVE SOME MORE...

SO it has been Months since I have written... Okay, well over a year. I get side tracked a lot. Especially being in a new career. I want to advance, so that means I have to put a lot of my goals on hold, as I pursue the goal of PROMOTION. In the meantime, I have written a personal story (again) and have several unpublished blogs, and a few ideas that are floating around in me. But in the months that have passed, I have gone in LOVE, felt in Laughter, Cried my soul out, Forgave those that have done whatever, and I began to LOVE all even more.

I laugh and cry about the same these days. People are dying and killing one another left and right. People are also doing some of the craziest things for attention. SO I choose to laugh at most and cry at some. And when I am directly hurt by it, I ask for their forgiveness or if I am angered, I ask my GOD to forgive me and them. FOR I don't know when I may leave this Earth, but I do want to be right with GOD. SO in doing so, I just try to live better each day. For people aren't going to treat you how you want, you do however have to treat them how you want to be treated. So LOVE, its the greatest feeling ever. Laugh till you cry, you won't regret it. Forgive, its the only way to move forward and have sense of peace over your life. And regardless of what, LOVE SOME MORE.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Starting Over After Failure

Randomly thinking... No one wants to start over. It sucks the wind out of you. It gut wrenchingly hurts. It's down right embarrassing, and damn near depressing... Okay, I've got that out the way... I've had my pitty party, just as most do when things don't turn out their way... Now let the planning start again. You can't allow yourself to dwell in negative thoughts about spilled milk; whether its loosing your mate, your job, your home, or whatever you hold near and dear to you.

Life fell apart for me as I knew it... But that was okay, little did I know. The saying is true is that "things fall apart so that new ones can form". We sometimes think that it's the worst when our plans aren't coming as we thought. In reality, our plans aren't ours anyway. In the last two years I have had to loose in order to gain, and let go in order to get. I realized that I was built stronger than I even imagined. I have been put in very uncomfortable situations to be made comfortable. I thought I had it all together and found out that was lie (in my Maury voice-lol). God doesn't deal with "Proud" people... and that is what I failed to realized and he brought me to it. And if you are realizing where and what you are, you too will be found in the same position.

The new outlook on life has humbled me more and given me discernment. I focus on others more than myself. I am a work in progress; learning to make careful decisions to not lead myself down the destructive path. Because you have to learn the lesson or you will find yourself back where you struggled to come from. So loosing those things that I really didn't work for because I didn't appreciate them, was the best for me. I needed a clean slate to start over with. I needed to look forward to GOD to see what He truly has in store for me. So starting over wasn't the worst for me. I awoke me to get on his path and not think twice about it. Newness, its for everyone if they are willing to let go and let GOD!


Friday, October 4, 2013

The Love Hate Affair: The Scandal Slander

So last night was the return of Scandal... I have to admit I am a fan... Yes I am... It is my weekly fix since I am on a "Diet".... <<--- I will blog about that "diet" a few months from now... Ya'll ain't ready.. LMAO... But anywho... I said I wasn't going to tweet or FB... or anything on Thursday's while Scandal has my attention... It is just that good.. But last nights season 3 premiere... Babyyyy, I had to give it to Ms. Shonda Rimes and who Miss Olivia Pope Slayyyyyedddd all across the screen...

Let me be clear, before going any further... I am not in favor of cheating in any form or fashion (PERIOD)... I detest it... It is NOT MY THING... I have been cheated on, and I had to recuperate (literally) from that shit... But I am a Human and very realistic about life and feelings... Cheating taught me a lot of things I didn't know about myself.... So now that that is out there...LET me Proceed with my OPINIONS!!

*Side Wife/ Side Girlfriend

To really be honest with Self, you have to look at self and admit what it is you feel and see!
Take Olivia Pope... Last night in the "kill file" her family was brought up and things revealed...Her unspoken of father, who wasn't in any pictures, and made up life, unknown to the Government, who indeed is suppose to know all, has missed a major piece of the Pope puzzle. Thusly (<--- Surely not a word, but it sounded so nicely her in this sentence) Pope isn't her real name, but is so befitting of a woman of her statue! You think! I do... But this father, whom her mother obviously had a secret and tumultuously relationship with has groomed and shaped her into the woman that she is, unintentionally. See, deep down, if we truly look at ourselves, we do similarly become our parents if we don't watch it. Again, that is a good thing, if your parents are those good role models, but if not, Welp you better grab a TMcC book or Oprah, and find your true essence to apply to what is left of your life... Hello SOMEBODY...

Back to Olivia... who is the makings of a privileged, successful, beautiful woman, yet has fallen into the category of Side chick. Now this category is reserved for those individuals that knowingly involve themselves with a person involved with a Serious someone, whether it be a dating situation or married. In Olivia's case, she is involved with the President of the United States of America. Now, many of my FB friends all scream #TeamWife #TeamMELLIE and I am all for #TeamWIFE... But in this Scandalicious Affair... I am all for being Happy... and NOPE... MR. PRESIDENT FRITZGERALD is NOT HAPPY with FIRST LADY MELLIE... and No, he shouldn't be cheating... But he should man up and take his cheating behind on... Because lets be even more real here, he's cheated with more than Olivia (Umm, season 2--the intern who was pulled out of the river-- oh Okay)

But look deeply into Fritz, he's not my president (lol) and Mellie. Who is really on the side here? Yep, Mellie... Why? Well, she and Fritz dance for the public eye, and are only seen in front of the camera when he needs her to be. Behind the scenes, she's constantly being disrespected and reminded of how much he truly hates her, and when he does decides to fulfill his sexual needs, he thrusts her forcefully to get a feeling of satisfaction as if she were Olivia. Not to mention, last night episode showed just how much of a SIDEWIFE Mellie was... 1) He gave no damns about her feelings 2) He's still willing to go through hell to get Olivia First Lady Status 3) He gave no damns about her feelings...

Like I said, I am not about that Side Chick life, but I am honest and smart enough to know when a man has replaced his respect for you in someone else. I at one point, went from being the Girlfriend to Side Girlfriend... I knew my role, but he had an understudy that he wanted to bring on stage. And yeah, like Mellie and so many others I knew, I fought with our PRIDE, only to loose so much more in the end. I let her have that role. And you can argue and try to debate me if you want and say, "Yeah, but you're no wife"... That is true, but in 2013... dealing with that kind of relationship, it doesn't take a wife to see that kind of foolishness... He may have loved you, but when do you love yourself enough to walk away for your own happiness. Mannnn, I can't wait til next THURSDAY....

Friday, September 27, 2013

Don't Be Insecure...

Its nothing to Fear but Fear itself. Unfortunately, we as humans beings Fear several things. I have been a victim of fear and it has constantly shown up in my life when it shouldn't have. With that kind of fear, it eventually causes us to have insecurness or unsuredness about ourselves. And to walk around unsure of yourself and what your purpose is, well that isn't right.

Faith fuels posititivty and being positive is everything. You don't want to go through life just surviving...You want to live. And I know all about surviving All to well. I've done it most of my life. Because of FEAR. Fear cripples you and causes self doubt and as a woman, there shouldn't be a doubt about your GOD given talents.

Find your inner strength and fuel it more and more by and with your FAITH. Move in Faith. So you can have several goals, but if Fear has creep in, you will find yourself stoic and never moving. Recently, I have moved slowly, do to lack of finaces to invest in self. But today, I said, FAITH IT... and proceeded forward with one of my major goals and brands to be a Boutique. I too tough and TOOPRETTY to be taunted about my shoulda, coulda, woulda. Take a day at a time to build your faith to seek the goals you desire, but NEVER be afraid to try... Because you never know.

Don't let fear make you Insecure and Unsure...

Monday, August 12, 2013

DO the WORK!!!

In life there will be many challenges. In order to overcome them, you must DO the WORK. Simply put. Nothing worth having in life is easy. I mean, in my life, I want nothing given to me. Because what's given can easily be taken. So let me grind to get what's mine. And in the process of grinding, let me be humbled.

You can't blame anyone for where you currently are. It is true, that maybe someone could have helped you along your journey. But what I have learned, its just better to pray and move on. See there are going to be people that can help you and won't, and there will be people that won't help you because they can't! That is part of the work you must do in deciding to see whose to be apart of your life. For 15 mos, I have been unemployed. My "core" people knew this... Some helped, and some didn't. It was a frustrating time for me,  but it was a good time to DO the WORK. I started letting those exit my life and I started feeling better. And when those knew it was time to make an exit, they tried to pull the positives out of my life as well. But see, the GOD I serve, knows already who is to make an exit and who is to remain. So I "TooPrettyShrug" at the thought of those clowns, making noise about the ones who are my TRUE CORE....

Everyone isn't destined for your Destination...YOU DO KNOW THAT RIGHT?!?! If not, then your WORK begins today. See as I looked back on my childhood and how things were, I thought I had done most of the work and at 30, I'd be able to live a little and breathe... Boy, was I wrong. I got rid of a toxic relationship, but I didn't rid myself of "friend and family toxins." See they all can be toxins too. Friends (fake ones) can be toxins, because they really don't want to see you grow and do what you are destined to do. They want you to stay at the same point in which you all are til, you start to die off... Well, maybe not die, but you know what I mean... "we grew up together eating vienna sausages, why you eating steak now?" That kinda "Crab" mentality. (and for the record, ain't nothing wrong with eating viennas...I just no longer eat them or White bread, or bologna) (Welp, I did eat a bologna sandwich on my 31st birthday (exception made)--and my cousin PUNCH cooked the hell out of it...but I hadn't since childhood)...But you all GET IT. Let life hit you, like it did me a few months ago... Mannnn, friends (fake ones) start dropping like flies... But its cool... I like the real you... I been grown a long motherfucking time!! SO I CAN TAKE HONESTY... ( I love that line from Player's Club--But I'm not Diamonds cousin...I'm more like Diamond--LMAO) So Deuces to the FAKE ONES... Life is so much better without you! Esp, since I have not any of what I will when I am done with this journey... Just more for the Real peeps to enjoy...

If you are truly doing the work on your life, then you are paying attention to those around you. Some people don't know how negative they are... They are negative ALL DAY EVERYDAY... When I started doing the work, I could sit quietly and hear the exactness of people. See I am a talker (Can't help it, Its genetic)...That's why THIS is for me... I was born for this MANNN... But I had to learn to listen. I mean really listen... And some of the people, I admired, talked about people like they had tails attached to them. Nah, that's not what I am about... a Toxin I need to rid myself of ASAP... and I did. No more, foolish calls or text downing the next.. I am doing the WORK.

Nah, I am not typing this with my "Middle Finger" (#RealDamnTears) but I am typing nonetheless, which means, I am not crying over a fake lost friendship or fake lost family-ship... I am LIVING... Once you do to the work, any and all is possible. Own WHO you are, take Responsibility for your past and present actions, so your future actions will have a chance. You get one life, but ever so often you get a few chances to turn things around to the good of GOD. Try it and See. DO the WORK.... *and no I didn't go there with fake Family.... because at the end of the day, we share blood. They are loved, forgiven, and still family.... #TING

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Waiting til Marriage Vs. Waiting til Understanding (to have SEX)

Lately, I have been so focused on ALL things I have slacked on my writing...(hint the hiatus from this here blog)! Well I am blogging and a few other things.. I am almost done with Pink Lips.. My second book which is Fabulously Juicy with INFO bringing  the Dirt...Now catch that!!! #TING...

Well, I am back on the promoting trail, and that lead me to a YOUTH SUMMIT in my HOMETOWN... and of course, when they call (and I can make it) I am there. I love home, and I love being able to inspire my HOMETeam!! They loved and Hated me first... WHAT? It comes with the territory when you moving in the name of GOD... LOVE is evident, but some SHADE will be thrown.

As I completed my Presentation titled, "GET YO' LIFE"... I gave the opportunity for Q & A! Now, I love that part of the event... You get to ask me what you want.. and you know I am going to give it back how I WANT...but its going to be real as EVER.. That is ALL I KNOW...but here we are in the HOUSE of THE LORD (Amen!!) and the question was: "With you being a teen mother, would  you say its better to wait til marriage?" Now honestly, I have ran this question through my mind several times, just because! But here it is and it was thrown through the air for me to catch #POW!

So here was my answer: I understand the whole wait til marriage! Being a woman who has had a child early on, and now being a woman in 2013... I can't preach "wait until married" but if that is the background in which a young lady has come from, I will support it. I will on the other hand, preach "wait til you are Understanding"... because SEX is a responsibility. It has ramifications deeper than getting pregnant. Getting pregnant is probability.. The other ramifications are STDs and then those even greater "FEELINGs"... We were short in the setting, due to other speakers, but the question stayed and lingered on til now. I just had to further elaborate and see what other adults thoughts...

See I am not married. I do see myself married and all that good stuff. I also have some great people that are married around me, but I also know some bad marriages... Now, waiting to have sex until marriage is rare in most of my convos... Does it make the UNION better? Ehhh, Does it make the UNION stronger? Ehhh....  Sex is tricky... In my single life, Sex is... Well let me go back a second. Sex as a teen, was all about a feeling. You think you love that guy. You think you love that girl. You doing what you know you shouldn't be doing and then you all of a sudden you caught up. How? most are pregnant! Then the guy or girl isn't going to uphold any of what they told you; or you caught up with an STD that is taking time out of your life! #AintNOBODYGOTTIMEFORGONORRHEA (LMAO)- I'm #WEAK but so freaking SERIOUS...

Now in my SINGLE (ADULT) Life... Sex is a #STRUGGLE (HAHA-- ya'll thought I was gone say SEX is mind blowing, make you want a cigarette and I don't even smoke kinda thing--NAH)!! Its a #Struggle, because you can get sex anywhere. Any and everybody giving it. The difference now from then, Sex comes with an UNDERSTANDING, because I am a WOMAN with standards. #TING... IF you were burned by sex with a guy from your previous relationship or teen relationship...You should already know you have to change the things you allowed to happen to you. IF you have decided to allow someone your most prized and initimate possession, you need to make sure you have an understanding of what it is and what could happen... EVEN if its YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE. Lets face it, people cheat... and CHEATING HURTS... No, don't walk around with the attitude of being cheated, but be able to understand, that the person you give your all too, just may not want it all. You can wait til marriage; and I think that is a good thing. But if you can't and you have decided that you are ready to deal with the ramifications of SEX just make sure you have your UNDERSTANDING.  If you are are TEEN.. please have this conversation with a person of MATURITY. Not your homegirl or homeboy who hittin' everything moving. CONVERSATION rules the NATION... Don't fall for the OKIE DOKE and then life starts unraveling...LIKE I say... GET Yo' LIFE, before it GET YOU!